When Michael and I had our ultra sound last Tuesday, the radiologist found a cyst in the left side of the baby's brain. The radiologist really "played it down" ensuring us that they usually go away, so I didn't really think much of it until the Doctor came in and recommended a quad screening (a blood draw to check for different birth defects, specifically trisomy 18) so that we could be "prepared" even though knowing one way or another couldn't change anything. After some tears were shed and Michael and I talked it over a few minutes, I decided to have the blood draw and wait the 5 working days to find out what the results were. I just talked to the nurse at the women's clinic and she informed me the tests were "normal." We have another ultra sound Nov. 4th to see if the cyst went away.
I've had a lot of mixed feelings during the last week...sadness, anxiety, fear, greater appreciation for the healthy baby I already have (Jan reminded me that every baby truly is a miracle and they truly are, I just forget that sometimes) and a lot of thoughts on trials. I remember telling Michael after we found out about the cyst, that trials have to come to everyone in some shape or form, and if ours didn't come in this way, it was going to come in some other way anyway. I LOVED Elder Cook's talk on trials and I felt just like his little boy who told his mom on the phone "Hope ya' know I had a hard time." I cannot imagine my life without knowing that trials are stepping stones and that they strengthen us and prepare us to meet God. I am grateful for other people's examples, people whose unwaivering faith carry them through their trials, and I hope I can do the same when I'm faced with mine.
18 comments:
Emily- I thought I would let you know that at about the same gestation as you are I too found out that Paiglee had a cyst on her brain and we too didn't find out the sex that day, instead we found out about the cyst (pretty devastating especially since she was our first). Reading your post sounds so much like what we went through. I had an ultra sound every month from that day forward to watch the cyst and to make sure it went away. I remember that day like yesturday and I was a mess. I cried my eyes out and I prayed a lot. I was scared out of my wits but at the same time I knew that if something were to be wrong then it was the Lord's will. But even with that said it is never easy to deal with that kind of information. I truly know how you feel and I hope that everything turns out for the best. If you have any questions or anything let me know. I know we aren't close but I am more than willing to share my experince with you or anything thing I might be able to say to maybe ease your mind.
Emily, I read your blog a little bit and I just had to post this time. I so feel for you and what a beautiful testimony you shared stating that if this was not the trial it would have been something else. I just really felt the spirit in that message.
Emily, We didn't have a quad screening because I had my blood work done and I had them do testing for abnormalities before I even found out about the cyst since I have a sister who had a Downsyndrome boy, so they looked from that test and everything was normal. But they told me the same thing that even though the test showed everything as normal it really could not be. But they also said that if the cyst hadn't shrunk that they were going to send us to Denver for more extensive testing and to a specialist. But our next month screening they said it had shrunk and that they would just continue to watch it. But I will say this since they don't have much information about why they occur or anything really I did do my own searching and found nothing but I did decide to look up foods that I could eat to help the brain develop because I found it very hard to sit and wait for the next month screening and plus I had to feel like I was doing something to help the situation. I found that broccoli(sp) and other dark leafy greens help with brain development. I don't know if it helped but it made me feel like I was doing something rather than just waiting. Oh and Paiglee's cyst did shrink and one more thing. I don't know if they showed you the picture of the cyst or anything but they didn't show us when they told us but the second time Bragg said it had shrunk and then showed us and if they showed me the first time I think it would have made me pass out because it was seriously the size of a golf ball in this tiny head and the next time it was about half the size. They also told us that she could be born with the cyst and live with it as long as it wasn't affecting anything else and they said that some adults have cysts that have never been removed from when they were in the uterus and it doesn't affect their day to day life. I hope this helped and it wasn't too much.
Emily...I kind of know you are going through right now, i already kind of told you about our situation with the down syndrome! we won't know until she is born now what the outcome is going to be! Just remember Heavenly Father is taking care of you, and knows your trials and your worries! He is there for you whenever you need him! I am praying for your family and new little baby as well!!
Emily,
I am so happy to hear that the baby is going to be okay. Matthew and I both have been praying for you guys and the baby. I really enjoyed Elder Cooks talk also. I remember feeling that way after I got in my car wreck. I felt picked on, that I was ever going to get better, and I wondered why I had got hurt so bad nearly killed when I had done nothing wrong. I had tried to be the best person I could be, and this had to happen to me. But I learned from my trials, and I knew that heavenly father really did love me and that I was still alive because of him. He was watching over me. But we all get different trials to help our testimonies grow. And everyone does help mine grow so much. We love you guys
Emily,
I too found out at 21w2days that our baby had a cyst on the right side of her brain. I had no clue and was at the perinatologist all by myself, it was a horrible day. The Dr. assured me that they were really common in babies, but because our daughter has a two-vessel cord it means that we had two "soft markers" for trisomy. Cleve and I decided early on not to do any of the screenings and after I talked to him and my sister contacted million doctors we decided just to wait it out and let things happen as they would. We've had a million ultrasounds since then and things seem to be looking fine, at 26 weeks the cyst was gone but I still worry everyday. Keep your head up. Check out my blog from June/July that's when we found out. PS... I know your in good hands at the practice you go to. (A friend of mine is a nurse and we are friends with John Bragg)
I'm so happy the test turned out normal! I'm sure you will be able to deal with whatever trials come your way, you are such a strong person!
Hey Em,
What a hard thing to go through. Hopefully everything just keeps getting better and better for you and the baby. I'm praying for you and I know you are such a strong person and have so much faith that any trial that comes your way you will be able to turn into a blessing.
Emily- I think you are an amazing person and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and testimony of trials, with others. It helps to hear other people talk of their trials and how they got(or will get) through them. You have such a great family surrounding you and I know you have lots of great support! We'll be thinking of you!!
oh, em! i hope everything goes perfectly! i love you and am praying for you!!!
Emily~
So sorry about your news. A saying I really like a lot is a good reminder:
"Today's Test is Tomorrow's Testimony"
Heavenly Father knows who you are, He's aware of your needs, He loves you!!
{{HUGS}}!!
What your mother in law says is so true. Any baby born normal and healthy is truly a miracle.
I am so happy to hear that your test came out normal. You and your family will be in our prayers.
In watching my sister with her special needs child and with other people I love with theirs- I know that these children are special and are placed with very special people for certain reasons.
Take Care!
I'm glad the test came back normal and I hope the next ultrasound goes well. I appreciate your's and Michael's outlook on trials.
I'm sorry to hear about your news Emily. You have such a good out look though. The Lord will bless you and whatever is supposed to happen will. I can totally epathize with you though, it is so hard to hear bad news at an ultrasound when you were so excited to go see the baby, it is very difficult to learn that things aren't just as they should be. I will keep you in my prayers.
Everything will be fine, you know he/she doesn't have trisome anything, that is the important thing. It's been my experience that there is a special connection with those precious babies that we have to pray so hard for. Don't worry too much, remember "Enjoy the journey."
Gosh, I feel so disconnected and I am just across town. I am so sorry I had no idea this was going on. I am glad it came back normal and can't wait to find out the sex of the baby. If we could hang out soon I would love it. We miss you guys.
Em- when we went in for our first ultrasound with McKie, he had something wrong with his heart. It scared me so bad, because my brother that died had a heart defect. At first I was okay, but as Jaran and I prayed that night, I started crying, and couldn't stop. After we talked to the DR. the next day, he said that we would have another ultrasound in a month and that by that time, the problem could be resolved. Going in to our appointment the next month I had had the right time to think things over, and I knew no matter what, the baby was given to us and that we were going to be blessed by him. As they looked at the heart, a smile spread accross the radiologists face, and said that the problem had resolved! I am so grateful for that, but I know no matter what, I still would have loved him no matter what- just as you will with yours! We love you and you are in our prayers!:)
So scary...You and the baby are in our prayers.
I don't know if you knew, but Debbie was due with Dawson on the exact same day I was due with Bryson. Weird coincidence...Anyway, she had her 20 week ultrasound two weeks before I was able to get mine.
They said there was something wrong with the baby's kidney, lungs, and brain. We were all so scared. She had to wait a month before a follow up ultrasound. We all hoped for the best, but prepared for the worst. We fasted and prayed, and at the next ultrasound they said there wasn't any trace of the problems they saw before. Dawson is a perfect little healthy miracle.
Hopefully the same will apply to you guys.
Post a Comment